Thursday, April 12, 2012

HOW TO BOND DEEPLY WITH YOUR HORSE

HOW TO BOND DEEPLY WITH YOUR HORSE
Having a spirit to spirit bond with your horse is rewarding beyond measure.  Knowing that your horse loves you unconditionally and will do anything for you is an indescribable feeling. Horses that love their owners are happy, they radiate enthusiasm when they see you and call out to you when they hear your voice. 

Your horse can be your dream horse, you can have a magical bond with your horse regardless of your horses age, gender or past history. People often ask me how I bond so deeply with my horses, they follow and obey me like a big black lab. I was told that my horses are like “putty in my hands” as one spectator stated after seeing Apollo and I interact together. 

I am passionate about horses and learn from them each day.  They're powerful yet gentle kindness and adoration for their owners is truly a gift from a above.  I have been a trainer for the past 8 years, I have had many experiences in helping people and horses come together to and create a powerful unbreakable bond of love, trust and respect. 

Last summer I had a kind lady call me one day for help.  She told me that she hired another trainer to train her horses but that she had a difficult time catching them, and so did the owners.  She had seen me work with horses and knew that I had a special bond with them and so she was hoping that I could help.  I accepted and went to her barn the following morning.
As I walked towards her pasture I sent loving energy to her horses, I then went into her pasture and as I walked in all 4 of her horses came up and encircled me, the lady who hired me was at the gate and she began to cry, she said that she had never seen such a thing.  That was a magical experience of which I will never forget.

The previous owner who owned my precious mare, Page, for 8 years before I bought her asked me how I trained Page to follow me around, that was before I brought her home!  When in fact, I didn’t teach her anything of the sort, she just followed me on her own from day one because she could sense my energy and love that I had for her.



Each of my horses from the moment I saw them online for sale touched my heart and soul deeply, I knew without question that they were indeed meant to be mine.  When buying a new horse I always follow my heart when choosing horses.  I sense the horse’s spirit and look into their eyes for softness. If doesn't matter how amazing their pedigree is, the awards list is or how incredible their conformation is, if the horse doesn't have a soft look in their eyes I won’t even give them a second thought.
WELCOME HOME!

When my horses first come home I make their homecoming just that, a welcome home party.  I invite my closest friends and family to be here upon their arrival, it is quite the celebration!  Upon arrival when my horse’s first get off the trailer I look deeply into their eyes, when our eyes connect we instantly have fireworks between us, as if we were saying to each other, “Blessed Day! We finally found each other!!!”  Each of my horses instantly followed me like a puppy dog, without a halter & lead rope in my arena the first day they came home. 
You too can have a highly rewarding spirit to spirit bond and connection with your horse, that is one of the main reasons most women buy horses, is for the magical bond we dreamed of.  Bonding with a 1200 lb horse is empowering to say the least, knowing that your horse loves you and trust you as his leader is awe-inspiring.   The way to accomplish such a special bond that will stand the test of time is through your energy and spirit. 

Horses are extremely intuitive.  They sense everything about you and can read your energy better than you can.  If you are stressed and negative all the time you are putting off low energy vibrations which directly affects your horse and will void a bond between you.  Your hose is a mirror of you.  If you manhandle your horse and believe that you can force your alpha role on him, think again.  Just as a child learns to love and respect his parents by receiving loving guidance and by example, so it is with your horse.  If you do not fully love, honor and respect your horse your horse will become bitter and resentful towards you.  A test to know if your horse likes to be with you is to have him come to you upon hearing your voice, even before you reach his stall. 


Your spirit is of pure positive energy, so if you are happy and confident then that will directly reflect to your horse. Likewise, if you are in a state of negativity most of the time and are constantly complaining most of the time then how can you expect to bond with your horse?  You are unintentionally building an energetic wall around you as a protection from the world, including your horse.  Your spirit is magnificent, as is your horse.  When you let go of negativity and focus on your power then that will mirror back to you in the actions of your horse.


CREATE A DEEP BOND WITH YOUR HORSE


You can bond with your horse no matter how long you have owned your him, it doesn't matter you can have the bond you and your precious horse deeply long for.  We all want a leader in our lives, we all want to feel safe and protected and want to have healthy food and clean water to drink to thrive, it is no different from your horse.  Horses are extremely intelligent, loving animals; therefore, they need constant love and attention just as we do. 


Below are 8 simple tips to bond deeply with your horse. When you connect deeply with your horse words will be unable to describe just how magical your bond truly is.  You too can have a spiritual relationship build of love, trust and respect as I do with my horses--it is truly magical beyond expression.


8 TIPS TO BOND DEEPLY WITH YOUR HORSE


1.   Spiritual Connection:  Have you ever met someone and instantly you felt impressed, protected, safe, happy and inspired?  You felt that way because of the person’s aura which radiate from spirit.  That’s how it is with horses; they read your energy first and then look to your body language for communication.  If you try to consciously be in a happy, thankful state of mind when you go to see your horse then your horse will indeed desire tenfold to be with you as opposed to going in a negative state of mind.


2.   Body Language: Your body language and energy radiate signals to your horse that you wouldn't even think twice about.  When you are with your horse ALWAYS walk as though you were a queen, with power and confidence.  Walk with your shoulders back and stand with straight, have a stature of leadership and power.  If your boss came to you with slouched shoulders and didn’t look you in the eyes when she spoke to you would you be inclined to look up to her and do what she asked?  Probably not. So it is with your horse, they need you to step up to the plate and be a leader, not by force but by your energy and body language.


3.   Your Energy: Your stomach or otherwise known as your solar plexus is your most powerful energy directing part of your body.  Keep your belly button aimed at an angle to your horse when calling to him.  If you stare at him head-on and demanding him to come to you excepting him to obey, you have another thing coming… disrespect 

 By forcing your desires you are actually blocking your horse from coming to you energetically.  Call to them in a fun loving tone of voice and when your horse comes to you upon voice command praise him and reward him by scratching his favorite spot or by giving him an apple or a carrot.  Positive reinforcement is the most powerful way to train any animal. All of my horses greet me at the gate, they will even leave their food after feeding to say good-bye to me before I leave my barn.  It’s because I radiate a powerful loving energy which silently demands respect.


4.   Taking in Each Others Essence: When your horse reaches out to you puts his nose to yours that is a huge complement! Take a moment to blow back into his nose with your nose, allow him to take in your essence that is what he is doing.  He is taking in your scent or pheromones and in turn is bonding with you.  When your horse blows in your nose that is a gift, one that should not be dismissed, but cherished. 

     Spend quality time with your horse by loving on him and just hanging out, no training, no work, just plain old quality bonding time.  Sit with him in his stall and read a book, give him a massage as he eats, talk to him in your mind and out loud, let him know how much he means to you and that he will always be safe with you.  He can understand you far better than you may give him credit, so let him know often vocally and with action just how special he is to you. 


5.   Free Lunging:  Free lunging is one of the most overlooked training tools that is critical for gaining respect as well as to bond with your horse.  Free lunging creates leadership, trust and respect. The first day I bring my horse’s home I go straight to my arena and take off the halter and lead rope and then love on them and allow them blow in my nose and roll in the sand.  I then move their feet to establish right from the start “who” is indeed alpha!  If you do not establish that you are alpha mare then your horse will take that role, and that makes for an unsafe, non bonding horse.

I free lunge with my body language and energy, I send them off with my lunge whip with my core aimed at the hindquarters.  Then I stand in the middle of the arena and have them trot and then canter around me, after a few minutes I call them into the middle of the arena by stepping towards the front of their shoulder and then stepping back one step, my horse then turns and trots to me in the center of the arena standing directly in front of me about 3 feet away.  I then step towards them and reward them with lots of love and praise. I then walk on and my horse follows me no matter what I do, stop walk or even walk backwards, my horse mimics my movement. 


When your horse mimics your movement you have made a connection, you have established leadership as well as created a bonded with him.  That is your horse acknowledging you as the leader.  However, if your horse ignores you and just walks away that is his way of showing disrespect, and that is when you move his feet again—with heightened energy and power.  Once you establish that you are the leader, love on him and walk him back to his stall or let him go play in the pasture with a treat in hand to reward him and let him know he did a job well done.

6.   Feeding Time:  When you feed your horse make him back away from you and wait for your approval to eat.  If your horse ever pushes you with his nose he is trying to move your feet to let you know that he is the leader. If you horse does that move his feet fast by waving your arms and saying, “NO!” don’t ever allow your horse to push on you or come into your space without your permission, always go into his space to love on him.  That goes for feeding time as well.  The alpha horse always eats first and lets the other herd members know when they can eat, this is a form of leadership, even though you don’t eat hay you remind him of who is in charge and move your horse’s feet and then allow him to eat when you say so.


7.   Ask with Kindness:  When you halter your horse ask him to walk with you by clucking. Don’t ever pull on your horses head.  Horses appreciate love, kindness and respect just as much as you do.  When you yank on your horses head and mouth with the halter or reins it’s the same as me yanking on your arm each time I wanted you to go somewhere, after a minute you would be sick of me and would become resentful towards me, just as a horse would. 

     Always ride with soft hands, use your legs and seat to steer your horse, the reins and bit are simply tools to keep your horse between your aids and for subtleness. Always treat your horse as you want to be treated. If you horse does something that requires discipline then get after him quickly and be done with it.  Allow him to recreate the situation to do it correctly and then praise him. 


8.   Pamper Your Horse with Grooming:  Grooming is another often overlooked time to bond with your horse.  Too often I’ll go to an indoor arena and see horses with mud all over them with unkempt manes and tails.  When you take time to thoroughly groom your horse you’re not only caring for his physical being but also his emotional state of being.  Talk to your horse as you groom and give him treats, make grooming a routine daily whether you ride or not.  Bring along his favorite treats to give after grooming to let him know how much you appreciate him. 


Keep your horse's feet trimmed, be sure to schedule your farrier to come every 8 to 10 weeks, if your horse’s hoofs are cracked, chipped or too long it is a direct reflection of your lack of respect and neglect.  If you want to truly bond on a deep level with your horse then make grooming and hoof-care a top priority, he will happier, healthier and will love and appreciate you all the more for it.


If you do these simple tips you can create the bond of your dreams with your horse, you can have love, joy, trust, respect and leadership with your favorite equine friend.  If you have any questions please feel free to email me directly at carol(at)royalgrovestables(dot)com

Please take the time to like us on Facebook and share with your horse loving family & friends. Thanks for reading, until next time, happy trails!
~Carol Whitaker
Riding Instructor
http://royalgrovestables.com

23 comments:

  1. Hello my name is michala and I was wondering if you could give me some advise, I just got my first horse and me and my mom went against every advise anyone has given us. The horses name is now Miya and she has been on the race track 5 times but thankfully was to slow. She will be five years old in April,
    You see everyone told us to get a gelding, that the age should be from 9 to 12 years of age, that the horse should not have been on the track and should be laid back.... But we got just the opposite! She is a 16.3 hand mare who is going to be 5 she has been on the the track and she has some spunk, we got her because we seemed to have a connection but now that she is in her new home she seems scared and pumped up at the same time we I'm trying my best to calm her down, grooming, talking, showing her around bit by bit offering her treats (she won't take any of them, apples, carrots, pepper mints you name it!!!) can you give me some advice to help me get her to settle down and get to trust me some more???

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    1. Hello Natsu,

      Congratulations on becoming a horse owner! Your friends advice is what I would have advised you as well; however, when your heart leads you to a horse that doesn't fit the typical "fist owner" advice then you need to trust it, just as you have.

      Horse's that have been mistreated either physically or emotionally tend to be more spooking and non-trusting as a result. But with time, patience and a lot of love it can come to overcome it's natural fight or flight brain to that of being calm, loving and trusting.

      To begin gaining her trust and respect, always be in your power. It's easy to feel insecure when dealing with a 1200 lbs animal that feels unsafe and scared all the time. The more you are in your power the more confidence you will give her. Horses read our energy clearly and need a leader at at times. Stand tall and proud and be calm and gentle when you're with her until she gains her own confidence in your relationship.

      Secondly, free lunge her daily. You can't gain her trust by just loving and talking nice, you need to talk her language which is being the "alpha mare". To do this free lunge her in a round pen or small arena. Move her feet by having her walk, trot and canter under your guidance using your body language and lunging whip. Study how to do it correctly if you're not sure, there are lots of books and videos on Youtube on the topic. Clinton Anderson's teaches it well, you can also buy his DVD on free lunging.

      Next, spend a lot of time with her just relaxing, play games with her, read a book in her stall and groom her daily. Within time she will come to love and trust you, but be patient, it will take some time but will be well worth it in the end.

      Thanks for your comment.

      Good luck and happy trails!

      Carol Whitaker

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  2. This is the best advice I've found on trust with your horse! My neighborhood has a pasture right in front and recently, some horses have moved in. One horse however, a black quarter pony, (who i have dubbed the nickname Twister to him because of the way he twists his neck to get to the clover on the other side of the fence) has a special relationship with me, thanks to this article. I walked up to him with a confident posture and in a peaceful state of mind and he outstretched his nose to greet me. I blew back in his nostrils in response. Ever since then we have become best friends and ive gotten permission from the owners to groom him. They might even hire me as barn help so I can bond with the other 8 horses. Thank you so much for this advice and I will keep it with me for whenever I greet a new horse!

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    1. Hello Jessica~

      Thank you for your kind words, I'm so glad you found my blog insightful and inspiring.

      I'm thrilled to hear that by incorporating what I teach you were able to make a new equine life-long friend. Twister will always cherish you because you took the time to bond with him, you're a gift to him!

      I hope you're able to be a barn helper so you can touch and bless the other horse's lives as well. You have beautiful energy...

      Have tons of fun with Twister!

      Carol

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  3. I need some advice I've had many horses throughout my lifetime and am currently trying go to break an 8 year old throughbreed nd I just can't seem to do it and I can't bond with her I've done tons of groundwork and its not getting us anywhere can u please help and I've done all of the Clinton Anderson fundamentals
    Kenzie

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  5. Hello! My name is Grace and I need some advice. I recently started volunteering at a farm of abused and slaughter horses. I quickly noticed Lucy, a blind abused mare sent to slaughter but saved by the farm. During the orientation barn tour, a leader called her and whistled for her but she wouldn't budge. I then called her name and she came up close, blowing into my nostrils and melting my heart. Ever since then I've groomed her as much as possible, and she always blows back, but I just wish there was some additional bonding exercises we could do...? I am not allowed to give her treats because another horse choked. Any ideas?

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  6. Hey! My name is Shelby and I have six horses. Four mares, a recently born colt and a stallion. I have one mare named Wildfire that I show and she is a Rocky Mountain. I love her death and ride her when I can. She stays with three other young mares but they aren't trained very well. I don't ride or groom them often. they stay in the pasture most of the time and anytime I try to with with them I get aggravated. I have to admit I don't have a whole lot of patience. But anyways, everytime I go to catch wildfire and she sees me with the lead and halter she takes off and is a pain to catch. it really saddens me from seeing the bond you and your horses have versus mine. And when you said you cluck at your horse for him to come I can't do that because my horse would rather eat grass then go with me to saddle up and go riding. everytime we go riding she always wants to turn around go home and is in a rush to go back. I dont want to force anything on her since I've seen other people and their bond with their horses but I don't know what to do!! it's frustrating for me to try and bond with her I guess and her to do what I want when she went listen. can you please help me? thanks!

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    1. also I don't have anywhere to free lounge her. /:

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. I recently bought my first horse ever, & she is the love of my life. She follows me in the pasture, lets me groom her without a problem, always comes to the fence when she hears my car. But, when I ride her & walk her in the farmyard, she stops to eat grass alot & often won't listen to me. She can be very stubborn, you have to really dig her in the ribs to make her go. She also likes to stop when I'm riding her on the road, & thinks she's in control, & turns around where she wants to go. I try not to let her, so I make her circle but once I get in the direction I want to go, she won't go. I've been very patient with her, & feel a very strong bond with her but when riding & taking her out of the pasture she seems to think she is in control. I am new to riding horses & will admit I let her stop & eat grass when riding her because I didn't think it was a big deal. She knows I'm new to this, & won't listen to me. However, when my brother & dad ride her she listens fully & completely at their every direction. How can I make her listen to me? Help!
    -Kaitlen.

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  9. Hi hope u can help I have recently got my first horse as saved him from being slaughted he is a 23 year old bay gelding tb ex race horse I love him to bits he is really well behaved in all manors apart from his stable he weaves and wont listen to me when ask him to move back to let me in to turn him out what can I do as we have started to get a good bond thank u

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  10. Hi there :) I recently got my first horse and have been riding for ages. Her name is Birdy, she's a palamino saddler, and she's 13 years old. She's totally great except for a few little things, one of which being that she is very shy and will never come up to me or whinny when I visit... Another thing is that whenever I try to mount, she will swing her hindquarters away from me no matter how gentle, slow and quiet I am. Please help? Thanks!

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  11. Hello my name is Kianna and I have a beautiful gelding named shamundi he was an amazing race horse before I started to ride him. We have this like "click" and I feel that we have great potential however I cant seem to form the bond im imagining. I want to be able to just hangout in the pasture with him and have him nuzzle me but I just don't know where to start. Help?

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  12. Hello my name is Amber and I have a beautiful horse named Oliver. I feel as though we don't share any connection and I would like to try out your tips from this post. But I was wondering what does "moving your horses feet" mean? Do you mean picking them up? I would love to know because I feel your advice will work. x

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    1. If she is using the expression in the same way Clinton Anderson does, "moving their feet" means to have them move physically, like backing up, sidepassing, walking or trotting, etc. This is natural dominant behavior seen in a horse herd, the alpha horse pins back it's ears causing the other horse to "move his feet", move away from the alpha, and establishing dominance. I learned this from one of Clint's training dvds, and since she recommend them earlier, I assume that he is safe to use as a reference. Good luck to you and your horse!

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  13. Hi Carol,
    I have gotten my first horse.She was a rescue 18 month old filly TWH. Friends said I was nuts because she was so emaciated and neglected and was so young. Her name is Mocha I've had her 4 months she's finally gaining weigh and is very happy and healthy.You made me feel like I'm doing all the right things with her.She comes anytime I'm around especially when she hears my truck or voice.Follows me and respects my space.I have started free lunging her and she is very happy to do what I ask. She has never had saddle or rider.I slid on her bareback for the first time 2 weeks ago.It was like she'd already been ridden.No fuss no problem ..each day I stay on a little longer and have incorporated a bitless bridle. We have a very deep connection. I truly never thought she'd respond like she has.I'm sure that our bond will last forever!

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  14. Hi, :3
    I was reading your little blog thing earlier today. I'm starting to think my horse, Red, disrespects me. Well, I kind of KNOW. :/
    Maybe I kicked him to hard or maybe even show negative energy often.
    This summer, when I was riding Red, I'd kick him gently to get him to a walk. He walks and obeys me when someone is watching. But when I'm out in our field, I kick him a little more and he goes into a full run right away and tries to buck me off. I've tried to be nice to him but I lost patience one day and pulled on his halter... hard. I didn't mean to. I was just fed up. I understand that I should probably be a little more gentle with him and things like that.
    Is there a way I could get him to trust me and be comfortable with me again?

    (I'm sure it's not the way I dress either. I'm usually wearing black, or grey. I like hardcore bands so I have no idea. I don't think horses judge on that type of thing xD)

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  15. So glad I found this website, its just what I feel the horse/human relationship should be! I'm studying horse behavior and doing ground work so this is really useful reading, great food for thought.

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  16. Thank you, i am about to go see a couple horses in a few days and i have not been around a horse in over 10 years. i am very nervous/excited (more excited) about going and seeing the few horses i will see. Even though they are not my horses, i will be riding them and i dont want a horse who disrespects me or is scared of me. Thank you so much for this.

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  17. hi my name is amber and im 11 my horse is called pearl just so you know i have to bribe her with food to catch her she used to follow me around when she first came to my house but she just egnors me she has about 4 accars to her self iv tryed to bond with her but she dosent seem to like me iv been riding for 7 years and every horse iv ever ridden has a kicking problem or a im going to eat the contence green bin i love pearl but she dosent like me could you help

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  18. Hello Carol,

    My name is Shanen and I have problems gaining trust to and from my horse. I want to bond with him but I don't know how to. In a way I guess you could say is that I am scared because of his height but other then that I want to grow closer with him but I am unsure how to go about doing that. Any advice on what I should do?

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