Sunday, April 7, 2013

8 TIPS TO EARN THE LOVE AND TRUST OF YOUR HORSE




8 Tips to Earn the Love & Respect 
of Your Horse

Earning the love and respect of your horse is essential for a  happy, fulfilling relationship with your equine friend. Not only does it make for a better relationship with your equine best friend but is imperative for safety.  

Bonding with your horse is highly rewarding, to hear your horse call out to you when he hears your voice, to have him come trotting up to the gate to greet you and to have a spiritual bond is priceless. Knowing that your horse loves you unconditionally and will do anything for you is not only a gift to cherish but it makes for a happy, trusting horse.

People often ask me how I have such a powerful bond with horses, especially with my stallion, Apollo. He’s a magnificent Friesian stallion. My spirit to spirit bond with him is like nothing on earth, it’s as if the heavens opened and showered infinite wisdom and grace upon us uniting our souls as one.  As one visitor stated while watching us interacts with one another, “He’s like putty in your hands… incredible!” He was in awe…


THE GELDING THAT NEEDED A HUG

A few years back I received a call from an acquaintance asking for my help with a horse that she boarded that had been abandoned by his owners; I willingly accepted and scheduled a time to meet with her. The following day I had to teach a lesson at her place, as I drove up I parked my car and as I was about to get out of my SUV I noticed another trainer with halter and lead rope in hand, she was in a large paddock with several horses, they were all running back and forth as she was apparently trying to catch one of them. I soon realized that she was trying to catch the paint that I was hired to train. 

As I watched her try to catch the horse between all the other horses I couldn't help but feel sorry for her and for the horses. She was trying to force her way into catching the gelding rather than inviting him to her with her energy. It was quite a site to see them all running around with their heads and tails held high as the poor girl ran and ran trying to halter the sweet gelding. I watched for several minutes but then had to go teach my lesson.

Following the lesson I taught I ran into the lady who asked me to help her with the gelding. I asked her if he was difficult to catch and she replied that she didn't know she had never tried to halter him before. As we walked towards the paddock where the gelding was I mentioned that I noticed the other trainer I saw trying to catch him, she commented that the gelding was somewhat wild and had been abandoned almost a year ago. She felt sorry for him and that is why she called me.

As we approached the paddock all the horses stood looked up with attentive eyes and ears on us. As I stood in my power, I called to them with my energy and vocally asked them to come to me, doing so each of them walked up to the gate to meet me, as I opened the gate and walked in. 


Upon entering, I was greeted by all the horses, one by one they came to me and soon encircled me. Each put their heads down towards my hands in effort to receive love and affection from my tender hands of love. As I loved on each of them, I spoke kindly and thanked them as they nuzzled me and expressed their appreciation to me. The gelding that needed the love most was extras affectionate, I spoke to him lovingly and gave him a gentle hug, which was received with a hug in return by him, placing his head into my chest—it was truly magical…


The lady who hired me stood in awe as tears ran down her cheeks. She said that watching me with the hoses was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and that she had never seen such a thing. She expressed that she will never forget what she saw. Her kind words touched my heart deeply, and quite frankly, I too will always cherish that magical memory.

Another fond memory was when the previous owner who owned my sweet mare, Page, for eight years before I bought her was also in awe with the bond I had instantly created with my new mare. The day before I brought Page home the owner was watching Page and I interact with each other, in quandary she asked, “How did you trained her to follow you like that?” I smiled and simply replied, “I didn't.”  When, in fact, I didn't teach her anything of the sort, she just followed me on her own from day one because she could sense my energy and the love I had for her.

Each of my horses from the moment I saw their ad online for sale their spirit touched my heart and soul deeply, I knew without question that they were indeed the “one” for me. When buying a new horse I always follow my heart, and let my spirit lead my way.  I sense the horse’s spirit and look into their eyes for softness, even in photos. 


It doesn't matter how amazing their pedigree is, the list of awards, or how incredible their conformation is if I don’t feel spiritually drawn to the horse I pass it by. Horses have a spirit just as we do. They have feelings and emotions too. When I connect deeply with a horse it’s by their essence that I am drawn to, and in likeness, they are to me.  

WELCOME HOME

When my horses first come home for the first time I make their homecoming just that, a “Welcome home” party!  I invite my closest friends and family to be here to greet them upon their arrival, it’s quite the celebration! 

Some of which is the very first time for me to meet my new horse (as I mentioned I usually purchase my horses sight unseen.) Upon arrival when my horse first gets off the horse transporter's trailer, I always take a moment to look deep into their eyes, as they do in return to me, it is then our spirits connect powerfully -- it’s like fireworks go off between us! 


I then walk them to our arena and take off their halter, and allow them to roll and walk around. It is then I establish my alpha leadership and begin to bond deeply with them. They always roll, and then follow me around instantly as though they had been mine all along. 


I then move their feet to establish my alpha role from day one by free lunging them. I always end with calling them to me in the center of our arena with my energy. As they trot into me they put their head down in submission and respect as I love all over them, rewarding them for a job well done. 
  
CREATING A SPIRITUAL BOND

You too can have a spiritual bond and connection with your equine family member. It doesn't matter how old or what gender your horse is, or how long you've owned your horse, you can have a special bond just as I do with my horses.  


Bonding deeply with a 1200 lb horse is empowering, to say the least, knowing that your horse loves you and trust you as his leader is awe-inspiring.  The way to accomplish such a special bond that will stand the test of time comes by being in your power, by having positive, powerful energy. Much like others do you look up to highly. 

Horses are extremely intuitive. They can sense everything about us, and can read our energy and body language like a book. If you are stressed and negative all the time, you are putting off low energy vibrations, which directly affects your horse. Having negative energy will keep you from spiritually bonding with your horse. 


Low energy is like being between stations on a radio, it’s highly irritating--your horse feels the same when you are filled with negative energy. Yet, when you are happy, you’re on a clear station, which enables you to better communicate with your horse energetically. Horses love it when we're happy, just as we like to be around happy people. 


YOUR HORSE IS A MIRROR OF YOU


If you're wondering what type of energy you are giving off, pay attention to how your horse acts around you. Your horse is a mirror of you. Horses are our greatest teachers of life. They help us understand what we radiate out into the world. A happy horse has a happy, kind, loving human. If you manhandle your horse and believe that you can force your alpha role on him, think again! Just as a child learns to love and respect his parents by receiving loving guidance so it is with your horse.  If you do not full-heartedly love, honor and respect your horse your horse will be indignant towards you.  

If you are happy and confident then that will directly reflect back to you in how your horse acts around you. Likewise, if you are negative most of the time and are constantly complaining then how can you expect to bond with your horse?  You are unintentionally blocking your ability to bond deeply with your horse. Your spirit is magnificent, as is your horse. When you let go of negativity and focus on your inner power you will have a high energy vibration about you which will attract your horse to you naturally.  

Below are 8 simple tips to bond deeply with your horse.  You can have a deep love and bond between you and your horse.  When you connect deeply words will be unable to describe just how special your bond truly is.  You too will have a friendship based on unconditional love, trust and respect as do with my horses--it is truly magical beyond expression.

8 TIPS TO EARN THE LOVE & TRUST OF YOUR HORSE

1.   Spirit to Spirit: Connect with your horse with your heart and spirit, feel the power of his magnificence in spirit. Look into your horse’s eyes deeply and sense his essence. Allow your horse to love on you by putting his head in your chest or by giving you a hug by wrapping his neck around you. Spend quality time on the ground playing, relaxing and training.  Be in your power and leave your troubles behind when you are with your horse. Be happy. Horses thrive around happy people. When you go to see your horse be positive, your horse will desire to be with you even more so than when you are unhappy.
2.  Body Language: Your body language and energy speak louder than words to your horse. When you are with your horse ALWAYS walk as though you are a queen, stand confidently by standing tall. Own your power.  Walk with your shoulders, have a stature of leadership and power.  If your boss came to you with slouched shoulders and didn’t look you in the eyes when she spoke to you would you look up to her and do what she asked? Probably not, so it is with your horse, they need you to step up to the plate and be a leader, not by force but by your spirit, energy and body language.

3.   The Power of Energy: Your power comes from your core, or stomach area, otherwise known as “solar plexus”. This is where your most powerful energy radiates from you. Using your direct energy properly when you’re with your horse is like a police officer directing traffic. Keep your belly button aimed at an angle toward his should to your horse when calling to him, this will keep your energy from hitting him square in the face which blocks his energy from coming to you.  If you stare at him head-on and demanding him to come to you excepting him to obey, you have another thing coming… disrespect.  

By forcing your desires, you are actually blocking your horse from coming to you energetically.  Call to them in a fun-loving tone of voice and when your horse comes to you upon voice command praise him and reward him with scratching his favorite spot or by giving him an apple or carrot.  Positive reinforcement is the most powerful way to train any animal. All of my horses great me at the gate, they will even leave their food after feeding to say good-bye to me before I leave my barn.  It’s because I radiate a powerful loving energy which silently demands respect.

3.   Breathing in Your Essence: When your horse reaches out to you puts his nose to yours that is a huge compliment! Take a moment to blow back into his nose with your nose, allow him to take in your essence that is what he is doing.  He is taking scent or pheromones and in turn is bonding with you.  When your horse blows in your nose that is a gift, one that should not be dismissed.  
   
    Spend quality time with your horse by loving on him and just hanging out, no training, no work, just plain old quality bonding time.  Sit with him in his stall and read a book, give him a message as he eats, talk to him in your mind and out loud, let him know how much he means to you and that he will always be safe with you.  He can understand you far better than you may give him credit, so let him know often vocally and with action just how special he is to you. 

4.   Free Lunging:  Free lunging is one of the most overlooked training tools that is critical to bonding with your horse. Free lunging creates leadership, trust and respect by establishing leadership by moving their feet forward, backward, left and right just as the lead mare does. I free lunge my horses often to remind them “who” is indeed alpha!  If you do not establish the leader role then your horse will take that role, and that makes for an unsafe, nonbonding horse.

I free lunge with my body language and energy, I send them off with my lunge whip with my core aimed at the hindquarters.  Then I stand in the middle of the arena and have them trot, and then canter around me, after a few minutes I call them into the middle of the arena by stepping towards the front of their shoulder and then stepping back one step, my horse then turns and comes to me in the center of the arena standing directly in front of me about 3 feet away.  As I step towards them  I reward them with lots of love and praise. I then walk on and my horse follows me no matter what I do, stop walk or even walk backward, my horse mimics my movement. 

When your horse mimics your movement you have made a connection and have bonded with him.  That is your horse acknowledging you as the leader.  However, if your horse ignores you and just walks away that is his way of showing disrespect, and that is when you move his feet again—with heightened energy. Once you establish who the leader is, love on him and walk him back to his stall with a treat in hand and let him know he did a job well done.

5.   Feeding Time:  When you feed your horse make him back away from you and wait for your approval to eat. If you horse ever pushes you with his nose he is trying to move your feet to let you know that he is the leader. If you horse does that move his feet fast by waving your arms and saying “NO!”, don’t ever allow your horse to push on you or come into your space without your permission, always go into his space--that goes for feeding time as well.  The alpha always eats first and lets the other herd members know when they can eat, this is a form of leadership, even though you don’t eat hay you move your horse’s feet and then allow him to eat when you say so.

6.   Ask, Not Pull:  When you walk your horse with a halter or bridle on ask him to walk with you by clucking before walking, letting him know that you are about to walk forward. Don’t ever pull on your horse, it’s rude and disrespectful. Horses appreciate love, kindness, and respect just as much as you do. When you yank on your horses head and mouth with the halter or reins it’s the same as if your friend kept yanking on your arm to move forward, it wouldn't take you long to be sick of your friend yanking on you, and if they didn't ever stop you would soon become resentful. Horses are no different. 

Asking also applies to when you’re riding. Always ride with soft hands, use your legs and seat to steer your horse, the reins and bit are simply tools to keep your horse between your aids and for suppleness. Pulling on your horse’s mouth is painful, be respectful of your horse on the ground and while under saddle. Always treat your horse as you want to be treated. If your horse does something that requires discipline then get after him quickly and be done with it.  Allow him to recreate the situation to do it correctly, and then praise him for a job well done.

7.   Groom with Love: Grooming is another often overlooked time to bond with your horse. Too often I’ll go to an indoor arena and see horses with mud all over them with unkempt tails and manes. When you take the time to thoroughly groom your horse, you’re not only caring for his physical being, but also his emotional state. Talk to your horse as you groom and give him treats, make grooming a routine daily if you ride or not.  Bring along his favorite treats such as apples and carrots to give after grooming to let him know how much you appreciate his good manners and love. 

Keep your horses feet trimmed, schedule your farrier to come every 8 to 12 weeks. If your horse’s feet are un-kept it is a direct reflection of you!  If you want to truly bond on a deep level with your horse then make grooming and proper care a top priority, he will love and appreciate you all the more for it.

If you do these simple tips you will earn the love and respect of your horse to create a loving spiritual bond that will span the test of time.

Happy trails!  

Carol Whitaker

11 comments:

  1. Great article! I've had surgery and have been away from my horse. This is a wonderful reminder when I return. Thank you:)

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  2. I love the article, it makes a lot of sence. Bonding with my horses brought me back with my kids

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